June ‘24 BOTS: The Good Life
June’s Book on the Shelf
Title: The Good Life - Lessons from the Worlds Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
Author(s): Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD
Dimensions of Well-being: Social, Emotional, Physical
My client was in one of the best stages of his life. Having moved on from his previous corporate position, he was enjoying semi-retirement, still working but on his own terms. His health was good, his family was closer than ever, and he was thriving financially. So when he was still feeling off, he reached out.
As most people recognize later in life, and as the book The Good Life demonstrates so clearly, relationships matter. A lot. And as my client reflected on what was important to him, he realized that as a whole, his family life was tremendous. But his connection to one of his adult sons, while good, wasn’t great. And with a new baby, house, and career at the forefront, my client wanted to connect more without becoming a burden.
So I asked…”If you were a child again, and you could tell your own father how you felt, what would you say?”
“I’d want to tell him that I want to connect, and though I’m busy in life, it would mean a lot to do so.”
I helped my client recognize that while he couldn’t take away these burdens for his son, he could use the resources he did now have to invest in the relationship: flexibility with his time, financial support for funding experiences together, and the time and energy to plan the get togethers.
So I encouraged him to have a meaningful conversation with his son, with this approach: “I want to spend more time with you, but without adding more to your plate. How can I help so that we can make that happen?” The result? They now get together on a regular basis for “alone time"“ over lunch. The result? A stronger, more meaningful relationship.
My client was VERY successful in all the typical ways that society labels success. Wealth, health, beautiful home, passion to serve. But when deciding on how to focus our time and energy, it’s important to know what is truly going to matter to you.
In The Good Life, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz share the lessons learned from the The Harvard Study of Adult Development. This 86 year study began in 1938, includes 3 generations, and more than 1,300 decendants of the original 724 participants. It studied financial health, socio-economic status, physical wellness, IQ, emotional stability, familial structures, and more. And what did it find?
Spoiler Alert: Healthy, meaningful relationships are the #1 predictor of human happiness.
So while climbing the ladder, running the race, building the legacy, and bringing home the bacon, be sure to ask yourself: “What am I doing to invest in the relationships of those I care for?”
Take-aways: Out of almost every factor measurable in the human experience, the #1 predictor of a human’s happiness and satisfaction in life is positive, meaningful connections with others. It keeps us healthy physically, helps us live longer, and brings a sense of fulfillment and happiness to our lives. With great anecdotal stories, and powerful scientific evidence from the world’s longest study on human happiness, the authors share why relationships matter, and how to develop them for yourself.
You'll LOVE this book if: You wish to work towards and develop a happier, more fulfilling life, and feel that building relationships could be a powerful step in that.
DON'T read if: You already understand the importance of relationships, feel you already have enough connection, or don’t think connecting with others is important right now.
Reasons I love this book: There are countless ways to define success, and it’s easy to gravitate towards those that are clear and measurable—like the amount of money in the bank, the cars we drive, the houses we own, or the career titles we hold. But what if the most vital aspect of our success isn’t as easily quantified? In "The Good Life" by Robert Waldinger, the focus shifts to a much more complex, yet profoundly important measure of success: our relationships with others. This book resonated with me deeply, as it delves into the intricacies of human connections and their impact on our overall well-being.
One of the reasons I love "The Good Life" is its unique blend of anecdotal stories and scientific evidence. The book draws on the 86-year-long Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive studies ever conducted on human happiness and health. The personal stories from the participants of this research project provide a rich, narrative depth that makes the scientific findings come alive. Reading about real people and their life journeys allows us to see the profound impact relationships have on our happiness and longevity.
Additionally, "The Good Life" doesn’t just stop at highlighting the importance of social connections; it goes a step further to show how our social dimension of wellness is intricately linked with other aspects of our lives. The book draws clear connections between our relationships and our emotional, physical, and even financial well-being. It’s fascinating to see how nurturing strong relationships can lead to better health outcomes, greater emotional stability, and even financial security. This holistic approach underscores that success in life is not just about individual achievements, but also about fostering meaningful connections with those around us.
What I find particularly compelling about this book is how it redefines the idea of success. In a world where tangible achievements often take center stage, "The Good Life" reminds us that the quality of our relationships is the most significant predictor of happiness. This perspective shift encourages us to invest more time and energy into building and maintaining strong relationships, knowing that these connections are foundational to a truly successful and fulfilling life.
Find the book here on Amazon.
Ready for connection?
If you feel like you have it all, but know connecting more meaningfully is important and you’re just not sure where to start, Let’s Chat! - Coach Woody
