What Color comes from mixing Gratitude, Perspective, and Optimism?
I’m a big fan of metaphors. With one of my Strengths being “Ideation,” I am always looking for new ways to make connections between two thoughts, and then create a story to share with my clients. So when people began asking me "how do you stay so positive?,” I started to wonder myself.
The first step in figuring out an abstract thought is to define it (How can you find a process to something when you have no “end product?”). The Oxford definition of positivity is 1. the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude. (Source: Just Google It). I’m not a big fan of definitions that use the word it’s trying to define. So I simplified it (over many years of thinking about it). My definition of positivity? Actively searching for the GOOD.
So we have an end product. But more importantly (and without even knowing we’ve done it), we have a PROCESS. In order to be positive, we must actively search for the Good……but how? Actively searching sounds exhausting, but consider the practice….all you have to do is THINK about what is good about any given situation. What is the silver lining from a bad outcome? Did you perhaps miss out on a new job, but moved home and rekindled an old relationship? Or perhaps you just woke up in the hospital on your release day after a bad accident? That’s something to be positive about! Actively searching for the good can take time, especially as the circumstances become more dire, but there is always something good in each day. Now it’s learning WHEN to be positive.
Mentally, there are only three periods of time a person in which a person can reside: the past, the present, and the future. So how do we actively pursue the good in each of these? You already know, even if you haven’t put it together.
Being thankful for all the experiences, wealth, relationships, and material things you have accumulated in your past (up until this moment) is called Gratitude. You cannot be happy about things you currently do not have (or can you? Read on). But you can be ever-grateful for all the wonderful things you have in your life now: a supportive spouse, a roof over your head, the places you’ve visited, the sunsets you’ve seen. That’s being positive about the past.
“Why can’t I play as well as they do?” “Why don’t I have nice things yet?” Often, we see someone else in what we think is a “better place” than us, and we create a mentality of jealousy (the scourge of positivity). But what if we looked at this current reality from a difference Perspective? Sure, they can ball harder than you on the court, but they are failing in their classes, and their self-worth is wrapped into a sports career that may end prematurely because of an injury. If you were given a Mercedes at 16 years old, do you think it would mean as much as earning one from the first paycheck you receive from a business you started? Staying positive in the present is about keeping an open perspective on your life.
If everyone was fully satisfied with what they had, we never would have landed on the moon. You wouldn’t have gotten that promotion, or found the love of your life. The ability to pursue something better because you know that there is a “Better” is Optimism. When you are optimistic about what can be, you’re motivated to work towards growing. Getting better at a skill, starting your own business, working those endless hours knowing that it will pay off. This is the process to be positive about the future.
While these concepts can be attached to different points in time, they are not mutually exclusive. If you want to stay optimistic about the future, but you’re frustrated in the present because other people are having fun while you’re working, keep it in perspective that your hard work is going to pay off more in the future (falling in love with the process, and not the outcome, can make this a more enjoyable present). And remember to be grateful for the hard work ethic you’ve developed, and likely had instilled in you, in your past.
So what color comes from mixing Gratitude, Perspective, and Optimism? I’m not Positive…..but hopefully you’ll figure it out. ; )