The Time an A+ Wasn’t Enough
Some things just come easy to you, right? You’re reading in a textbook and just think, “of course, who DOESN’T know that?” Or you look up from your computer screen 3 hours older, and your spouse asks “how can you look at those spreadsheets for that long without going crazy?” We all have strengths, and while time and time again we’ve seen people that lean into their strengths and succeeding (think: Eminem, Gary Vaynerchuk, Albert Einstein…), society pushes us to focus on our weaknesses (think: make more money, be more business saavy, lose weight, be a more sympathetic parent). What if we focused less on these weaknesses, and went “all in” on our strengths? How powerful could we be? How bright would we shine?
At the time I’m writing this, I’m getting really interested in CliftonStrengths (previously known as StrengthFinders, reference in the notes). A large theme of this book is finding your strengths, and focusing on them more than your weaknesses (or non-talents, which is a MUCH better way to think of them) Towards the beginning of the book, it speaks on the education system trying to “shore up” on our weaknesses by forcing us to improve in subjects we likely don’t have interest in, and/or subjects we may never use again (not my ultimate view on education; see my Blog Post on Education, posted at a later date). The conversation brought me back to a time in my high school Science class, with Mr. Scioldo.
Mr. Scioldo was a younger teacher at the time, and prided himself on being a little bit edgy. Standing on desks, buying the first interactive whiteboard in the school (oooh…..ahhh…), riding a Harley….Scioldo was obviously my favorite teacher. Luckily enough, he also taught my favorite subject, Biology. Naturally, I excelled in this class…at least on paper. When my first semester had come to a close, the predicted A+ was staring back at my from the list of other As and Bs on the report card (I wasn’t the brightest, but exams and homework came easy to me). And accompanying that A+ in Biology were the following words: “Not Working to Potential”…….WHAT?! How could I possibly not have been working to my potential? What is higher than the pinnacle A+? A part of me chalked it up to Scioldo being edgy-old Scioldo. But it stuck with me.
“Parents and teachers reward excellence with apathy instead of investing more time in the areas where a child has the most potential for greatness.” (Rath, 2017, p. 7). What Scioldo was teaching me was the same thing my father taught me in that garage as a younger teenager (see my story). An A+ is a hypothetical bar set by the abilities of those around you. It does NOT indicate the fullest of YOUR potential. What more could I be doing to be Better in Biology? Applied myself further outside of the class? Tutored others? Started a Club for others who loved Biology? What if parents, instead of focusing solely on the students lower grades (weaknesses, non-talents), leaned into the strengths of their children?
I get it y’all. If the student is being lazy (me in Organic Chemistry in college, D…ouch), or your weakness is bleeding you dry (you can't perform a task that is absolutely necessary), then shore it up as much as you NEED to. The lessons from working on something challenging can be beneficial, if they are not demoralizing for the sake of demoralization. But if possible, or appropriate, forget the weakness. Or even better, FIND SOMEONE WITH THAT STRENGTH and let them do it (that’s called a team).
Would a C in History really prevent your child from being the decent human being you want him/her to be? Is berating them for it teaching them the lessons you want to teach? If they gave it a good effort, would that be better than the kid with an A because his father is a history teacher and he grew up around it?
Thank you Mr. Scioldo, for the valuable lesson you taught me. You were right, I was surely NOT working to my potential. But I am now. Not “never enough.” Just Better. ☐
Actions to Take/Thoughts to Ponder
What’s one thing you are doing right now that is slowing you down or tripping you up? Do YOU have to do it? Can it be done by someone else more quickly, more efficiently, and with more love?
What something you do that fills up your soul? What is it about that task that you love? Can you find other ways to find that same joy?
Is there a way to align that soul-filling task with something the world needs AND would pay for? (Google “Ikigai”)
Notes:
Rath, T. (2017). StrengthsFinder 2.0. New York, NY: Gallup Press.